


It's a wonderful sex life, Walter Skinner!"

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Holidays, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-22
Updated: 2002-12-22
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Walter is feeling his age.





	It's a wonderful sex life, Walter Skinner!"

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

It's a wonderful sex life, Walter Skinner!"

### It's a wonderful sex life, Walter Skinner!"

#### by Bertie

Title: It's a wonderful sex life, Walter Skinner! Author: Bertie  
Email:   
Series: Other   
Archive: Anywhere  
Note: Not betad. A take off on It's a wonderful life and Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! Just cause. Hope everyone have a good holiday or a good day even if you don't celebrate it. 

Mulder was out running; Alex was pet sitting for the young couple down the road who had taken the week off to go on a cruise. Mulder had taken Marmaduke with him. Walter walked about the large, empty house and felt lonely for a brief moment. 

The tree was very pretty in the window. All the lights were shining on and off in a nice pattern. There were presents under it from each of them. They had other presents hidden. It was a tradition in the Mulder/Skinner/Krycek household. It started when Alex came in late one Christmas day and had more presents that he handed to his lovers. They felt like they should do the same for Alex the next year and it became a tradition. 

Walter had no idea why he felt lonely-- it was like a brief clenching in his stomach that seemed to wrap around his heart like heartburn. He had never been happier. He sat down on the couch and looked into the fire, wondering why he was feeling down suddenly. He started to think of Christmases before he and his lovers decided to turn their friendship into something more. 

The first few Christmases, after his wife died, he tried meeting up with some old friends of his. It wasn't easy. Many of them had either moved, died or were too busy to have him over for Christmas. He realized then he would feel like a third wheel at his friends' houses. At that time he desperately wished he and his wife had children. It had been a mutual decision, though, that they not have kids until later, and then it was too late. Their marriage was slowly breaking up and he knew having a child wouldn't help the situation as a few of his friends had suggested. 

After realizing that, he never even decorated for the holidays. He just spent the evening alone, watching a few old movies and drinking himself to a stupor before he crawled into bed and slept it off. 

He shook his head. He now couldn't believe how miserable he'd been. Was he having some 'It's a wonderful life' experience? He shook his head. There was nothing for him to worry about ...he paused and thought, Well, I'm older than either of my lovers, my health is good but what happens if I become impotent? What happens if I start getting Alzheimer's? What if my lovers find me too old to be around and they start sleeping together separately from me? What if they leave one day and I wake to find the place empty ... they'd probably take Marmaduke too. Those little brats! They probably'd take Marmaduke, thinking I'm too old to take care of him! 

He shook his head. No way were his little brat lovers going to steal off together and leave him behind with an old empty house and not even a pet! If he damn well had to take Viagra until he was 92, he'd do it! He decided that he was going to eat better and start jogging with Mulder. No way was he going to have a beer gut and lose his sexual appeal along with his hard on. He'd call his doctor first thing after the first and schedule an appointment. He'd find out if he needed Viagra and, if he didn't, when would be a good time for him to start. 

He got off the couch and started doing sit ups by the fire. He did five reps then grabbed up a log of firewood and started lifting it first in front of him then used one hand and lifted it on each side. Then he did push ups. He turned to do some crunches and stopped when he saw his lovers looking down at him. He hadn't even heard them enter. He must be losing his hearing too! He snarled at them, "What are you looking at?" 

Mulder grinned. "One sexy man!" 

Alex nodded his agreement. "You shoulda waited for us to come back, Walter. We love watching you exercise." 

Walter looked puzzled. "And why is that?" 

"Because we want to have access to that wonderfully hot sweaty body afterwards. Why else?" Alex said. 

"Walter, you exude testosterone when you work out," Mulder input. 

Walter sighed then rose. Still uncertain of his lovers' reactions. "You don't think I'm too old for you?" 

They looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Is that what this was about? Walter, you're only 54!" 

He shrugged. "I know that, but ...I'll be older soon..." 

"Uh, Walter, you do realize we all are getting older, not just you?" 

"Is that why you have such a sour expression? We love you no matter what your age is!" 

Walter sighed. "I know, I just...I just was feeling a little down earlier." He shrugged. 

"What brought this on?" 

Walter sighed. "Mary thought I should play Santa for her church. Her husband is ill and she needed a last minute replacement...so she automatically thought of me." 

"Um, that's a good thing, isn't it?" 

"He's 73!" Walter whined. 

Mulder shook his head. "Walter, you're approximately his height. She was only trying to find someone who was close to his height, not age." 

Walter nodded then sighed. "You're probably right." 

They both moved closer to him and began to kiss and nibble each side of his face and ears, hoping to make him feel better. He moved away and said, "Not now, guys, I'm not in the mood." 

Mulder and Alex looked at each other then Alex announced, "I have something I just bought this afternoon, coming back from the Kendricks' house." 

He took a video from his coat pocket and went over to the VCR and popped it in. 

"Come on, you two. It should cheer you up, Walter. And put us in all in a better mood, I promise." 

Walter reluctantly moved to the sofa and sat down, waiting for the warning label to stop playing. Mulder reached over and grabbed the box from Alex's hand. 

"What is this, Alex? There isn't even a label on it!" 

Alex put his jacket on the coat rack and said, "Just watch it, Mister Antsinpants. It'll be on in a moment." 

Just then a bright green screen with bright red letters popped on. There was a brief pause before Walter and Mulder started laughing loudly. 

Alex joined in and finally said, "I knew it would get us in the mood for Christmas!" 

Alex sat down on one side of Walter and they watched as the screen slowly left the tacky title "Santa does his Elves." Maybe this wasn't the time to worry about his sexual libido. His boys always knew how to rev him up anyway. 

They sat back and enjoyed the movie, with only short pauses for a tease here and a pinch there. After the movie ended, Walter dragged his boys upstairs and showed his elves who was boss up at the North Pole. 

The End 

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Bertie


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